


Darker Days

by Dildo_Swaggins_T_Baggins



Category: South Park
Genre: Big City, Crime Fighting, F/M, Lemon Scented EVIL, Little Sisters, M/M, Mystery, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, superhero au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-04-21 00:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14272545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dildo_Swaggins_T_Baggins/pseuds/Dildo_Swaggins_T_Baggins
Summary: Mysterion watches alone, keeping an eye on an old 'friend' while oddly helping the villain.“About time.” He mumbled to himself, finally standing up, feeling the blood rush to his feet, stretching his arms, rolling them before turning to the ladder. Slipping down and jumping on top of the dumpster, not making a sound. Quietly he followed the Coon, knowing far too well what that ‘hero’ could do. Splashing across the street and climbing on top of the dock building, finding an open window and crawling down to a catwalk. He held his breath, peering over the edge.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this was partially for a good friend of mine, and that I always liked the idea of Bunny.  
> I wanted to ask anyone who reads this if I should continue with this or leave it as is? I do have an ideal plot of where this will go and it'll be dark but there are some bittersweet moments. So please comment on if it's worth it or not. Thank you and do enjoy!

The faint sound of police sirens echoed up to the night sky, took them long enough. The fire escape was slippery due to the rain, it had been raining for what seemed all day. It was starting to flood the streets, about a foot of water. The storm clouds blocked out the moon, only the faint neon lights from the massive city gave some form of sight.

Yet the rain did not deter him, instead, he stood on top of the warehouse, watching in silence. The wind knocking against his body, his cape flowing slightly to the side, the hood kept the rain out of his vision. He pulled his arms close, trying to warm his fingertips. It was foolish to fight in this weather, this was the perfect weather for lighting.

Yet he didn’t listen, not that common sense would stop his ego. The faint large figure scuttled below, carefully dodging potholes and searching for higher ground. The raccoon tail following after him. The Coon crept closer and closer towards the warehouse, his deadly sharp claws glinting in the light.

“About time.” He mumbled to himself, finally standing up, feeling the blood rush to his feet, stretching his arms, rolling them before turning to the ladder. Slipping down and jumping on top of the dumpster, not making a sound. Quietly he followed the Coon, knowing far too well what that ‘hero’ could do. Splashing across the street and climbing on top of the dock building, finding an open window and crawling down to a catwalk. He held his breath, peering over the edge.

“It won’t be long General Disarray.” A taller figure called, driving a forklift towards a green van. He was wearing armor, the same he always wore, silver plated shoulder and knee pads, a green fireproof cape, and two thick chains around his chest. The thick gloves had silver in the knuckles and fingertips. Professor Chaos was more than a formattable foe at most, he was smart, cunning, and surprisingly strong.

But he was nothing compared to the Coon.

“It’s really pouring out there,” General stated, looking out the opening of the warehouse.

“Did you take off the license plates?”

“Yeah.” He held them up quickly, only flashing the grey side of them. “The police finally got the alarm, we gotta hurry this up.” He jumped into the van, starting it.

Chaos drove the forklift, setting down the massive wooden crate inside. Pulling out quickly, and shutting down the lift before rushing over to close the doors.

“Professor Chaos!” A voice rang out, a massive figure jumped down from a window, landing on top of a crate. He stood tall, drawing his long overly sharp claws, grinning with this unsettling madness.

“The Coon.” Chaos locked the door and banged on the van. “General get out of here.”

“But!” General stuck his head out, clearly scared.

“Get out of here now!” Chaos yelled the van screeched driving out of the wear house and into the night. Chaos turned towards the Coon, cracking his knuckles. Coon rushed towards him, claws out, growling, Chaos dogged, climbing up a crate. Looking for a power source, glancing up at a light before grinning. “Ow!” Chaos hissed, looking down to see Coon as slashed his calf, blood dripping down, Chaos kicked Coon in the face, pushing the hero off the crates. The light rocked, light bulb blowing up as electricity ran towards Chaos, he grinned, looking down at Coon, blowing up a box.

“You bastard!” The Coon howled, scurrying away as electricity blew up another box. “Fight like a man!”

Chaos spotted another light, walking over to, no fear in his stride, that was his mistake.

With shocking speed Coon cut across the floor, smashing into Chaos, the villain gasped as the claws tore into his back. Coon wasn’t done with him yet, spinning Chaos around by his chains and punching him in the jaw. Chaos stood weakly as Coon kicked his shins, punching him in the stomach, Chaos fell easily. Coon towered over him, pulling Chaos up once again, punching his jaw, blood exploded from Chaos’ nose as he fell onto his back.

“Shit.” He mumbled, glancing around pulling away from the brutality of the fight. Unable to let the Coon murder another one. Spotting the main power line, pulling his massive hunting knife and throwing it at the line. Bursting into flames as the lights flickered and darkness fell on them.

There was a crackle in the air, electricity crawled along Chaos’ armor, lighting his face, anger in his eyes. The Coon growled rushing out as bolts of electricity tore up the concrete, bursting open the whole side of the building. Chaos laughed, it had a wheeze to it as he limped towards the new opening. He stopped, glancing over towards the knight sticking out of the powerline, pulling it out and glancing around the dark warehouse. “Thank you, stranger.” He called out, strangely politely as he fled into the night, dropping the knife.

Mysterion finally moved, pulling out a flashlight, hearing the police sirens, they were starting to pull up now, he didn’t have much time. Jumping down to grab his knife and then pointing the light over to where the two fought. Spotting blood splatters, a chunk of silver, and finally what looked like a tooth. He rushed over, picking up the metal, wrapping it up in a clean cloth, and picking up the tooth, narrowing his eyes at it. Slipping it into his pocket before pulling out a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, pouring it over the blood, throwing the police off the trail.

“Hey!” A light flashed on him.

“Shit, shit, shit!” He dropped the bottle, dodging gunshots behind him as he climbed up a few boxes, hissing as a bullet slammed into his shoulder, jumping and breaking the window and landing harshly on his back. Breathless for a moment before he heard more shouts, getting slowly to his feet as more lights pinned him down, rushing down the alleyway and to the right, getting as far as he could. Hearing the bullets fly past him.

 

“Kenny!” She whined as he climbed through the bathroom window, falling hard into the bathtub. She was still wearing her waitress uniform, her brown hair tied back, tossing her coat onto the sink. “I told you not tonight!” Karen snapped rushing up to the bathtub, holding his head. She worked quickly, pulling off his cape, and his mask, tossing them aside. “Where?”

“Left shoulder, and my back, I landed on some glass.” He coughed out some blood.

Karen hissed, jumping up and grabbing the massive first aid box. “Bullet?”

“Shoulder.” Kenny slowly moved to a sitting up position, his younger sister peeled off his shirt.

Karen gasped, seeing the blood drip down and the small hole. Taking out some tweezers and a lighter, burning the metal. She handed Kenny a rubber tube to bite on, sucking a deep breath she plunged the tweezers in, Kenny bit hard letting his sister dig out the bullet. “Ah,” She was slowly pulling out a good chunk of metal, setting it on the tile floor. “There’s still more.” She said grabbing a flashlight and putting it in her mouth as she continued digging out the bullet.

It was slow, painful, but Kenny sat there and let Karen patch him up, sewing up the hole and bandaging it, before moving onto the cuts on his back. Karen finally placed the cotton swab down, wrapping it tightly around his back. “How’s college?” He finally asked, rolling his head.

“Good, the end of this week we’ll we sitting in an operation room and helping a doctor.” She finally relaxed, not a drop of blood on her clothes. “Beef or chicken?”

“Chicken, how was work?” Karen started working at the Waffle House not too long ago, she already dealt with some raunchy customers, but Kenny taught her how to protect herself. She always had brass knuckles and a small knife, just in case.

“Fine, made 15 dollars in tips.” She came back with some ramen noodles. “How was super-hero-ing?” She sat on the toilet, blowing on her noodles.

“Bad, Coon's out again, watch yourself. Professor Chaos finally got what he wanted, but almost was beaten to death by Coon…” He slurped up a mouthful of noodles, digging in his pocket for what he gathered. “Stopped Coon, gave Chaos the advantage, got these from the warehouse.” He handed her the cloth with the tooth and chunk of metal.

“Hmmm, Toolshed?” Karen asked, looking at the tooth and setting it down.

“He might know what Chaos’ metal is made of, I grabbed the tooth so the police won’t find him.” He groaned, the headache wasn’t going away.

“He’s back?” Karen kicked off her shoes, stretching her feet, the bones cracked.

“Yeah, with General Disarray in tow.” He started to peel off his soaked clothes and weapons, holding the knife a little longer.

“Any leads on who they might be?” Karen asked, rolling her shoulders from the long day of work.

“None, all I know is Chaos is a blonde, General is a dark curly redhead with freckles.”

“Who do you think the Coon is?”

“Someone with power, political power or company power.” Too much power.

* * *

The light flickered for a second, he waited as his head stopped ringing, opening his eyes slowly to look into the mirror. Blood trickled down his nose and his chin, his whole body hurt. Besides that everything else was bruised, a few on his stomach and some minor cuts on his lower back. Taking his helmet off first, setting it aside and popping out his glass eye, putting it in the cleaning liquid. He’ll have to wear an eye patch tomorrow, the people at the office will notice it. He took cold water and started to dab away the blood and clean the wounds.

“Chaos you look pretty bad.” General Disarray peeked into the bathroom. No longer wearing his disguise, curly red hair, and freckles. He never learned his right-hand man's name, but one day he'd like to consider the General a friend. 

“It’s okay, I’m fine, could you feed the minions?” He forced a smile, as he started to remove his clothes.

“I did, I brought you some fresh clothes too, are you going to take a shower?”

“Yeah, I think I have to. Thank you for your help General, is the crate at your grandma’s place?” He took the clothes, setting them in the sink and started the shower.

“Yeah, good night Professor Chaos.” General turned away, waving weakly. “Let me know next time you need my help.”

“Good night General.” He sighed, setting his cape down and unlatching the chains, it needed to be washed. Then he removed his pants, and his shirt, tossing them aside, looking at the damage from the night. The bruise was already yellowing, taking up most of his chest and stomach, looking at it felt painful. Finally turned on the shower, glad that he had tomorrow off, meaning he could lay in bed and eat ice cream cake.

 

* * *

His bright orange jacket was great for this work, with the overlaying yellow vest to keep himself visible. It was chilly work, hard work, he stopped the small train car, pulling the brake lever. Taking a sip of his coffee before stepping out of the small train car, grabbing the clipboard. Somehow he landed this job, having to do a whole physical test, he got paid under the table and had no health coverage. “Lumber and steel.” He turned to the train, hauling off heavy sets of lumber, it looks like for 5 miles this track was going to be repaired. He tossed down a bag of nails, and finally pushed off the metal rods. Tomorrow he’ll start tearing up the old ones.

Kenny turned back to the train’s controls, giving it a little gas and clunking down the tracks.

His shoulder hurt for the whole day, still healing, lucky Karen said the bullet didn’t hit any bone, the muscle would take time to heal. Everything else he could handle, as long as he didn’t open up the wounds. Around 12 the day ended, he sat at the station, eating his sandwich and watching the news. Once again blabbering on about last night’s antics.

“Hey, Ken.” Tom Cody sat next to him. “Checked the schedule, we’ll be double teaming on those 5 miles.”

“Huh, I get the lazy ass?” He joked, the guys were always joking, rather raunchy, but that never bothered him. He fit right in.

“Thanks, how’s your sister, Karen right?” Tom mixed his soup up a little before taking a spoon full.

“Yeah, she’s alright, I worry about her working at Waffle House.” He shrugged, Karen could handle herself, but if the one time she couldn’t Kenny would be there.

“Don’t you have an older brother?”

“Yeah, he’s in jail.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Why, dumbass did it to himself.” Kenny finished his lunch, sitting up. “Well, I’m getting out of here, see you later.”

“Bye Ken.” Tom relaxed in the old chair, turning up the volume on the tv.

 _“And no one knows who are behind these attacks, but blood was found at the scene, however, it’s useless being that it’s diluted.”_ The news anchor droned on.

He didn’t have a car, didn’t really need one, the city was massive compared to his hometown. So big that the city had busses, he waited to check his phone for any messages from Karen, glad to find only funny images she found. Taking the bus to another stop, checking his phone again to find Stan left a message.

**I’m almost there, did you bring it?**

Kenny felt his pocket, glad to find it was still there. ‘ **I got it, 6th and Colfax, Waffle House.** ’ He sent back, stepping in and finding himself a table. Karen rolled her eyes, handing him a mug full of black coffee. “No sugar?”

“No, you get nothing and you’ll like it.” She stuck out her tongue. “Stan?”

“Yeah, you know what I want.” He leaned back, folding his arms behind his head, stretching his legs. Karen wrote down his order, leaving him to tend to other customers. Kenny unzipped his coat, sipping at the hot coffee and staring out the window. Three ladies walked down the street, wearing tight dresses. “Nice.” He mumbled, watching every single one of their asses. It’s been awhile since he took a girl to bed, maybe this weekend when Karen was doing her studies?

“Kenny!” Stan slapped a hand on his shoulder, sitting on the other side of the booth. “Wearing that half dead coat still?”

“Stan, still trying that patchy beard?” He set the coffee down.

Stand shook his head. “You look exhausted and pretty beaten up.”

“And you look like you just got a nice bj.”

“Still running around?” Stan cocked an eyebrow as Karen came back over.

“Orange juice?”

“Please Karen, and it’s nice to see you again.”

She nodded and walked away.

“Yeah, I’m still running around, so is the Coon.” Kenny shrugged knowing why Stan and Kyle left, he couldn’t blame them. Someone had to stop Coon, he almost killed Chaos last night.

“Chaos is still running around?” Stand groaned. “We never found out who he was, the others were easy, but him?”

Kenny dug out the tooth and chunk of metal from last night, still carefully wrapped in a cloth. “Here, let me know what you can find on this.” He slid them over as Karen returned with a glass of orange juice and Kenny’s plate.

Stan peeked. “Jesus, a tooth?”

He nodded. “Any longer and I’m sure Chaos would be dead.” A shiver ran up his back thinking back to the villain getting the living shit kicked out of him. Familiar memories resurfacing. “I know you don’t want to get back into this again and your girlfriend would kill us if she knew…”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Stan answered quickly. “Just take down Coon.”

  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny is about to get some mad puss, and has a strange 'dream'.  
> Leo has a shitty life, but he's got the sweetest grandma around.  
> What is the master plan?  
> Karen is a worried little sister.  
> Coon is a dick, what else is new?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S HERE! EEEEEK! I'm so happy if you guys can't tell, thank you all so much for commenting on the first chapter and if I should continue this, thank you so much for the support!  
> Here the plot thickens.  
> Please comment I want to know your feed back and how I can improve this! (I hunger for them)

He pulled her closer, roughly smacking her bottom, his nails digging slightly into her back, a grin curling up on his lips. She squeaked at him, her cheeks turning a dark red, she leaned in to kiss him. Pushing into her mouth as his hand finally squeezed her breast, she moaned as his cold finger slipped into her skirt. He laughed starting to pull down her skirt and panties, she gasped working on his bright orange coat. Easily she tossed his coat aside as he pulled her down on top of him. His bed creaked loudly, there was a good reason why he always waited for Karen to be at school or work to invite a lady over.

Kenny sat up, glancing over her shoulder to look at her bra, easily undoing the lock and tossing it aside. Her soft round breasts came loose, hanging right in front of him, he loved tits. Suckling one nipple and pinching the other, she started to rub her pelvis on his leg. He already felt the moisture on his thigh. Yet he played with her boobs for a while, biting, suckling and groping them, enjoying how her nipples would pucker once his mouth left them. How they would slightly bounce.

“You really like my tits?” She asked cocking an eyebrow.

Kenny grinned. “I love tits, ever since I was a little boy.”

She laughed at that, only to slightly toss her head back a low moan echoing through her throat as he bit softly into her nipple claiming it as his own.

His hands slid down her back, pulling whatever clothes she had on off, already feeling his cock throbbing in his jeans, pleading to be shoved deep into her. Finally cupping her ass and bringer her close, one hand shot down to his pants, peeling them open and letting his dick out. She sunk down onto it, softly rolling her hips, she felt good, not tight but still good, she knew what to do. It wasn’t long till she started slapping her whole body against him as he sucked on her tits, both clearly enjoying the moment. His hips sped up roughly slamming into her while one of his hands slipped down into his pocket, pulling out a knife.

He’d been wanting to try this for awhile, knife play, he wouldn’t cut anything important, wanting another kink to his list.

“Is that a...Knife!” She screamed jumping off of him, grabbing her coat and skirt, screaming as she left slamming the door close behind her.

Kenny groaned, sinking down on his bed, reaching lazily to her panties and sniffing them, still playing with the knife in his hands. “Dammit.” He dropped the knife, grabbing his cock and stroking it slowly, he’d have to make an effort to come this time. Letting his mind drift away, thinking about those fever dreams he always has been there are tits everywhere.

Bright lights flashed as breasts bounced up and down, women danced around him, naked, their asses round and plump. Fingers traced his body, tempting him, one of them fell to her knees, undoing his pants and sucking on his throbbing cock. He grabbed the back of her head and started fucking her mouth as another woman stood behind him wrapping her arms around his chest. She licked and bit his neck, her hands running up and down his chest. Kenny closed his eyes enjoying the feeling of two women at once, the soft sucking with the hot moist tongue and the bites on his neck.

He was close, in his mind, he started to thrust into the women’s mouth harder, while his hand pumped almost too hard.

Glancing down at the imaginary women sucking him off, slowing the movement of his hand as an innocent face stared up at him. Soft light blonde hair and blue eyes stared back at him, Kenny stared down, confused, it was Chaos. Of everyone, he knew he was imagining getting sucked off by Chaos. Bewildered at the situation and how much he was getting turned on, imagine that sweet face looking up at him. Kenny grunted, mentally no longer face fucking Chaos and instead he cupped the soft cheek, letting Chaos suck him off slowly. Those eyes staring up at him, with this pure look, that this was a lamb of a person.

His hand moved faster, his hand jerking harder, he was so close, his hips started to hump the air.

He came, imagining his cum spilling on Chaos’ face, and those eyes staring up at him in surprise. Chaos’ mouth popped off his dick, the villain started licking up what was all over his face.

Kenny gasped seeing the hands that here wrapped around him turn into claws, long thick claws, tearing into his flesh. Blood welling up at the cuts. Turning as those claws dragged up his chest to his neck. There behind him was a massive creature, it’s eyes burning for blood, it was a raccoon.

He gasped jumping up, his hand still wrapped around his dick, feeling light-headed from the sudden jerk. Blinking a few times to clear his head, only to hear the front door slam. “Shit.” He yanked his hand away zipping up his pants seeing that his cum was still fresh, planning on taking a shower. “Hi Karen, how was work?”

“You were jerking it weren’t you!”

Kenny burst into laughter falling back onto his bed.

* * *

 

“Leo!”

Leo jumped almost falling out of his chair, he only made a faint squeak turning towards his boss. His boss was big, massive compared to other people, he was burly, but had more fat, but what was really strange was that his legs were always toned while the rest of him was huge. “How can I help you Mr.Cartmen?”

Mr.Cartmen rolled his eyes. “I got a few more forms for you to fill out.”

“Oh.” The forms were slammed down on his desk, his stomach growled loudly.

Mr.Cartmen glared down at him. “Is there a problem?”

Leo threw up his hands. “Nope, none.” He smiled, turning to the new pile of forms, feeling the empty pit in his stomach, it looked like he wasn’t going to get anything to eat, again. He stared down and the top form, typing with one hand as he put the information on the computer. He worked 9 to 5 at this hell hole, used public transportation, almost always gets mugged and for what? A shitty little paycheck and dental?

There was a good reason why he wreaked havoc on his days off. He wanted to go up to his boss and fry him.

Leo set another form down, already halfway through the stack, as the sun started to set. “Another late night, great.” He glanced around the cubicles finding each one of them empty, the custodian was vacuuming the floor. Leo sighed resting his head on his desk, shutting off his computer, his boss could yell at him tomorrow right now he needed to sleep and eat.

The train ride was always longer on the way home, to his apartment.

Leo stopped at the door as the rain started to pour down, thunder cracking overhead. He glanced up, squinting as the rain collided with this face, barely flinching, a frown molded the rest of his face, dropping down. Leo hissed slamming the door and running up the apartment's stairs. Finally stopping at his door, 19 hung off of it in gold numbers.

He opened it smelling the faint stench of dust, mothballs and lemon pledge. Seeing his grandma asleep on the sofa, always waiting for him to get home, it was sweet but it wasn’t good for her. Gently he woke her up, turning off the tv and helping her to bed.

He sat alone in the dark apartment eating a bowl of cereal at 10 pm, there was no running around tonight. He washed his dishes, brushed his teeth, too tired to try to put on baggy pants Leo just peeled off all of his clothes. Stopping to only glance at the massive mess on his wall, in the middle of it was a newspaper

**Who is this new masked hero?**

He gave Mysterion a small glare before falling face first into his bed with a loud creak. “Why did he save me?”

* * *

 

He landed evenly, standing and stretching his limbs, always making sure his body was loose before doing something too stupid. Checking the gunshot wound once again, seeing it was healing nicely, hopefully, there was no one out tonight. He sucked in a cold breath of air, holding it in for a second before leaping down.

He grunted as his shoulder hit the rooftop, rolling onto his side. “Fuck.” He checked the bandage again, pleased to see the stitches stayed. Finally getting back to his feet and walking to a ladder. “No...not tonight.” He said to himself, sitting down on the edge of the building, staring out at the city.

The lights burned brightly into the night sky, so bright that only the moon could be seen, with half-closed eyes he leaned back, laying flat on the rooftop. He tried to find the stars, yet none of them shown through.

Back in that little town, he would sit sometimes with Karen when Carol and Stuart would have drunken fights well into the night. Karen would often sleep with him when she couldn’t escape and he would stay up all night making sure they didn’t wake Karen up. Now Karen was in college, Kevin was in jail, Carol died in a car crash and Stuart disappeared. Sometimes it felt like he was raising Karen, how his first job was working illegally at a Chinese restaurant just to buy her a doll. She still has that doll, in her room. “Ya did good Ken.” He said to himself.

He stayed there for awhile, starting to fall asleep on the cold rooftop, getting slowly to his feet once again he left.

* * *

He yawned lifting his tired head off of his desk, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, checking the time.

5:45 A.M.

He frowned, lucky he didn’t have work today, checking his phone to find General sent him a few messages.

**I’ve taken apart the turbine, it’ll need some repairs, damn what did they do to this poor thing?**

Leo looked at the photos, seeing the mass of metal they stole the other night.  **Do you know what you’re doing?**

“Leo?” A soft knock scared him.

“Oh, come in Grandma.” He stood up, opening the door for her, seeing her in her Sunday dress, inching herself into his room carrying his breakfast. “Oh, Grandma you didn’t have to do this.” He said sweetly, seeing the piles of pancakes and bacon.

She licked her lips setting the tray down on his desk. “Now, now, you’re a growing boy.” She hugged him tightly, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Leo hugged her back, stepping aside to let her out. “Let me guess Sunday service with Ann?”

She nodded. “Will you be joining us?” She fiddled with her white gloves and tiny hat.

He smiled painfully. “Sure, who’s picking us up?” He sat down devouring the breakfast. “I’ll get ready in a bit.”

**They left an instruction manual.**

**Really?** He washed his face, putting on his Sunday suit, and combing his hair.

**Really.**

Ann’s daughter drove them to the crunch, all three ladies chatted like birds in the car while Leo sat all the way in the back, texting.

**You know there’s a lot of news coverage on this right?**

**Really? I haven’t checked the news. But if people are looking for it we have to be careful, no test runs, nothing. Just one shot and if it works I’ll do the job solo. Find somewhere we can dump it at.**

**Got it.**

Leo leaned back in the church pew, stretching a little and yawning, how did old people wake up this early?  **Any news on Mysterion?** Grandma sat next to him, holding her tiny purse in her lap, glancing over to see Leo texting.

“Leo not in service.” She snapped.

He frowned, putting his phone away and letting the preacher drone on, half asleep Leo mentally left. Finding himself back on the streets, fists raised for a fight, his foe stood still, cape billowing. Mysterion showed little to no emotion in battle, but every now and then it would cross his face. Whenever he fought the cunning hero there was this excitement in the battle, raw energy would bounce off of them. It wasn’t the brutal beatings Coon would give, but an equal battle, a challenge not a massacre.

It ended quickly, the normal routine of grandma pointing out women who he could date as they left. The apartment building was a short drive away and the elevator was finally repaired, they rode it up, Leo mindlessly talked about what he got out of the service. Finally checking his phone.

**None, I’ve been reading over some online chats and it’s mostly slap fights over feminism and complaining about life. 5% is an actual discussion on Mysterion and any of those retired superheroes. I have checked the Coon chats, and some of them have some good leads, but I’ve checked them out, none of them have the money to pay for Coon’s gadgets.**

**No worries, thank you for checking, have a good day.** He stepped into his room, sitting down on his chair and popping his shoes off.

**Any leads on Mysterion?**

Leo rose to his feet again, pulling the sheet off his wall seeing the mass of evidence, from news articles, photos from street cameras, and estimates. Strings crossed over it all like a spider’s web, and in the middle of it, all was a rough sketch a police sketch artist drew of him and a few calculations. He pulled the paper, flipping it over.

  * Blonde-dirty blonde
  * Twenties-mid twenties
  * About 150 pounds
  * About 6 feet tall



**No, nothing new. He saved me last night, helped me fight off the Coon.**

**Wait, really? Maybe he hates the Coon?**

**Who doesn’t?** Leo pinned the piece of paper back to his wall, staring at the sketch of Mysterion. 

* * *

 

A week had passed, his wound had healed and oddly nothing major had happened. It was at first unnerving, but the slow dog days seemed to be something he needed. He spent his extra time with Karen, seeing a movie and enjoying a little shopping, she showed him tons of new jackets yet Kenny refused to get rid of the one he had. There was a minor robbery from a 711, but the cops could handle that, Coon was spotted a few times, but Professor Chaos was gone.

He tossed his work bag down, pleased to have the weekend to himself for once, popping off his shoes and falling back onto his bed. Kenny stretched, crossing his legs and unwinding with a long exhale. His toes cracked, his back popped and Karen set down a brown bag on his stomach. “Huh?”

“Sonic, number 3 with tots, you’re welcome.” She smiled, sitting on the floor and pulling out her dinner. “No running around tonight?”

He shook his head. “It’s too quiet, might as well do my normal route.”

Karen frowned. “How’s that  _ BULLET WOUND _ ?”

“Fine, you did a good job, still a little sore though.” He shrugged.

She rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her drink. “Thanks Kenny.”

“For what? You bought the food?”

Karen laughed. “For being my family.”

He sighed, taking a massive bite of his bacon burger. “Thanks for making me fat.” He playfully shoved her.

“I mean if you weren’t my older brother I’d be a prostitute right now.”

Kenny set his burger down, sitting up, taking Karen’s food and setting it down. “You know what this means?”

“What?” 

Kenny raised both of his hands, grinning like an insane child about to get ice cream.

“No.” She jumped up, covering her sides.

He started to nod slowly.

Karen screamed as Kenny chased her out of his room, down the small hallway, into the kitchen where he pinned her. There his hands dove into her sides, tickling her, she screamed falling on her butt trying to kick him away. Kenny couldn’t help but grin tickling his little sister, a rare moment of childlike happiness.

After the game of cat and mouse, Kenny found himself laying on the tile floor of the kitchen, panting while Karen was halfway out of the kitchen.

“You’re going out again tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“You know I don’t like it.”

“I know.”

“Ken you don’t owe anything to the world, so why do you fight?”

He took in a deep breath shutting his eyes. “I’m not sure anymore, I just feel like I have to.”

She sighed. “Be safe, I don’t want to pick out another bullet.”

“I will, I love you, Karen.”

“I love you too Kenny, please be safe.”

* * *

 

**We need some new wiring and a circuit board.**

**What kind?**

**UPS board and the cables that come with it, that should work, any idea where we could get one?**

**I know where I can find one, I’ll get it tonight, wish me luck.**

**Meet at the same place?**

**See you there.**

He popped his head out of his room seeing grandma sitting in front of her tiny tv, half asleep. “Grandma?”

She blinked shifting to look at up, seeing that he was carrying his duffle bag. “Oh, Leo you’re going to the gym again?” A warm smile spread across her wrinkled face.

“Yeah, I found out that I messed something up in accounting, and my boss is going to yell at me. I need to work off some extra energy.” He smiled at the tiny pun.

Grandma frowned. “Well call me if you need some old lady beating him with her purse.”

He laughed. “I think I might, please don’t stay up waiting for me, it might be awhile.”

She sighed, turning off the tv and getting to her feet, slipping on her pink slippers. “Alright deary,” She limped over to give him a wet warm kiss. “Night my little Leo, love you.”

He kissed her back. “Goodnight grandma, love you too.” He locked the front door, walking down the stairs to get his blood pumping and building up his confidence. Taking the bus and sitting in the back, away from the two stoners and the clearly homeless man. He loved bus rides at night, seeing the lights and people pass by, it put him at ease. He got off a stop early from his normal, he could still walk to his work, he stopped at a public restroom and changed into his heavy battle suit, testing the negative and positive charges.

He left a vengeful grin plastered on his face as he took the back alleys towards his work. Stretching before jogging towards the towering office building. “Time to pay you back you fat bastard.” He mumbled to himself, walking across the grass and blowing out every light and camera that he knew was there. Short-circuiting the security lock and alarm before ripping the door open and off. Finding that it was getting easier to tear off door hinges then when he first started.

He saw the camera aiming a tiny bolt of electricity at it and watched it pop the pieces exploding around and a tiny bit of flame and smoke curled out. Chaos hissed rushing over and putting out the flame, right now he didn’t need the sprinkler system to go off now. It didn’t take long to put out the flame, but he kept the sprinkler system in mind, mentally he planned out where his next step out be. Staying on the first floor but avoiding the security guards and cameras as he crawled and ducked out of sight, behind the massive fountain (what a waste of money) and towards the fake plants (more wastes of money that made the lobby look tacky). He crawled slowly towards a chair waiting another guard whistled and spun his keys around, Leo held his breath finally seeing the electrical room.

Easily he tore off the door handle, cheap metal, and opened the door slowly, pleased to hear the beeping and tiny fans. Shutting the door behind him and spotting the main power grid. He knew how it all worked, frowning at the poor state of it all. “It’ll be a fucking gift if I steal this and that cheap bastard has to replace it with a newer model.” He licked his lips disengaging the main power, the lights turned off only the emergency lights flicked on. He moved quickly, pulling out a flashlight and unplugging the thick wires, and finally unlocking the main UPS board. He tucked it away for safekeeping as the door opened up and a guard yelled at him.

Chaos grinned snapping his fingers and triggering the sprinkler system, both of them there drenched but Chaos shoved past the surprised guard, rushing through the miniature hurricane of water and out the front door. Bullets whizzed past him as he sprinted across the green grass and police sirens rang somewhere in the city.

Climbing up a fire escape and on top of a building, dashing onto another rooftop, and another leaving the office building far behind. Laughing as he jumped onto another rooftop, feeling alive as he landed, he may be doing this for revenge but damn did it feel good to be alive again.

Chaos stood tall, looking back at the building and seeing red and blue lights flashing, unable to stop smiling as he felt the adrenaline run through his body.

“Think you can get away?” A husky voice called out of nowhere.

Chaos’ blood turned cold spinning around far too slow as a fist slammed into his temple, he stumbled back gasping in pain and shaking his head. His vision started to clear as another fist slammed into his stomach, he threw up his dinner before his body was almost thrown across the roof. He tumbled without grace clutching his stomach still feeling the bruises and new pain ran through his body.

“You bloody tampon Jew!” Coon snarled his foot slamming down on Chaos’ back.

Chaos screamed in pain, tears welling up in his vision, he snapped his fingers bolts of electricity shot out colliding with Coon.

Coon stumbled back snarling as half of him was on fire. “You bastard!”

Chaos got to his feet, anger burning into his blood, his fists curling with rage as he charges forward, punching Coon in the side of the head, kicking his shins. Coon howled in pain, digging his claws deep into Chaos’ shoulders, easily shoving him into a wall. Chaos grunted, his head slammed against the concrete, building up a charge to shock the bastard at a knee met his chest.

His vision began to swing as the kicking and punching didn’t stop, new wounds were added on top of the old ones. The only relieve he felt was when his limp body fell against the cold roof, Coon hovered over him, kneeling down and holding his head up by his hair. Claws dangled over his throat. “I could slice you open right now and watch you bleed out, see the life slip from your eyes and your body twitch, and the best part of it all? No one would bat an eye at your dead body.”

He spat up a mouth full of blood. “Then do it pussy.”

Coon dropped his head, spitting on his face. “You’re not worth it, it’d be better to find out you threw yourself off a building. I’ll make you pull the trigger.”

He was too weak to lift his head, sucking ina cold breath of air. “Go to hell.”

Coon laughed walking off. “I’ll drag you with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you guys think? Please let me know! Comment and I shall produce another chapter, without a cliffhanger.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK BITCHES!
> 
> Little drama, little humor, little character grown and then cutting that said character. It's more of a slice of a life update, but trust me there are some little plot hints here.
> 
> Hit me with some comments, I carve them more than sunshine.

_ Keep running, keep breathing, keep running, keep breathing.  _ He stopped, throwing his hands above his head, oxygen circling through his whole body, it has been a while since he ran that hard. Pacing in a tight circle as he waited for the lights to turn red and to jog across. The salty smells of bagels that were freshly baked wafted through the air, along with cement and smoke from nearby construction. The golden rays of the sunshine hit his back as the city woke from its’ slumber. Karen was already at college, having morning classes, while he just got off of work and was out for his morning/late night jog.

It was a way to check on the city, not wearing heavy leather and tights. Not only that but it was much easier on his shoulder then jumping off rooftops. He stopped outside a coffee shop, inhaling the sweet scent of caramel and freshly ground coffee beans, stretching his calves on a railing and taking a gulp of his water. His lungs ached and the bullet wound burned. He walked the rest of the way home, taking the back alleys, watching cats dash back and forth. 

It was calming, the steady drops of water, strange it didn’t rain last night. Kenny stopped listened closely. Finding a small puddle of water, the water wasn’t clean, far from it, it was bloody. His stomach turned, rolling his shoulders before jumping up onto a dumpster, a window cell and crawling up the last three feet of the building, rolling into the roof. “Slow Ken, slow.”

He gasped jumping up and covering his mouth. There he was Professor Chaos, trails of blood smeared in the roof, his cape covered in it, while his skin was pale. Kenny tossed aside any hate he had for the villain leaning down and rolling him over. He was torn in shreds, broken and...and…

“Damn.” He brushed aside some of the light blonde strands of hair. “Karen is going to kill me.”

* * *

 

“ _ Please stop!” _

_ The raccoon creature towered over him, snarling, those thick fangs twitching as drool slipped down them. The dead eyes holding nothing but greed as the creature snarled at him, once again launching itself at him. _

_ He howled as searing pain dug into his flesh, blood welled. Leo’s heart drummed in his skull, the fear of death looming closer and closer as the demon's teeth wrapped around his neck ready to wring him. The pressure building as his vision started to blur and fade. “Please.” _

_ “We’ll consume each other.”  _

Leo sat up, gasping then hissing and falling back as his body ached and protested at his sudden movement. He shut his eyes until they hurt tears threatening to flood as his lungs throbbed with effort.

“Jesus man scare the living shit out of me.”

He stiffened, which hurt, it was dark, the only window in the room held the moon and clouds, a night light a small area of the room. What he could tell was that there was almost nothing, a closet, a dresser, and a chair that someone sat in. “Who are you?” His voice cracked, falling weakly into nothing, fear and weakness pricked up his spine. He was in a room at night with a stranger and heavily injured.

“No one.” He said staying still in the chair, Leo could faintly make out what looked like a stick in his lap.

“What do you want?” He fisted the blankets struggling to stay sitting up wobbling left and right.

The figure only huffed, was he tapping something? “Listen you’re safe here, you’re patched up, you can rest and eat. I only ask one thing, if you touch the girl who is helping you so help me I won’t hesitate to slam this hammer into your skull.” He stood, holding the hammer out for Leo to stare at.

He nodded slowly, his stomach turning. “I understand.”

“Good.” He set the hammer down, reaching for something behind him, tossing it onto Leo’s stomach. “Eat, and rest.” He got to his feet. “I’ll check on you in the morning.”

He sunk down unwrapping the burger. “Thank you.” He said staring down at the meal, his stomach growling. The stranger stood there watching him in the doorway before huffing and leaving him alone. Slowly he grabbed the burger, taking a bite, he didn’t really taste the beef, cheese or tomatoes, only there are down at his bandages. Fighting to keep the meal down, he was stuck here, wounded, alone in some stranger’s home, and he failed. He couldn’t find the UPS board was missing. A shiver ran up his back, thinking back to his last conscious thoughts, setting the burger down and curling up into a ball. “I would’ve died and no one would’ve cared.” He mumbled to himself.

* * *

 

“How are you feeling today?” Ken leaned against the door frame, scratching his patchy beard and holding a hot cup of coffee.

Chaos stirred a little as Karen kneeled down and started to check his wounds. He blinked a few times and sat up, letting Karen peel back the covers and look at his wounds. “Thank you for patching me up.”

“No need to thank me, my bro gets roughed up at his job so much that I’m studying to be a doctor.” She smiled, offering a hand. “Karen.”

He weakly smiled back taking her hand. “Leo.”

“Kenny.” He said sipping his coffee before setting it down and making his way to his work clothes.

“Oh shucks, I didn’t know this was your room, sorry for taking up your bed.”

“‘Shucks’?” He paused turning back to the pale blonde in his bed. “What are we in a Scooby Doo cartoon?”

Karen laughed shaking her head. “He’s giving you a hard time.”

Leo laughed. “It’s okay, I don’t mind sleeping on a sofa if you want your bed back.”

Kenny shook his head. “Nah, we have a sofa but it’s too small don’t worry about that.” He stopped in his drawer seeing the dark green cape and metal covered gloves, Professor Chaos’ gloves. It was fake, it all was, this was Chaos, cruel and vile. He bit his lip pulling out his jeans and a work shirt turning back to see Karen and Leo laughing. “How is he?”

Karen started to rewrap some of the gausses around Leo’s arm. “Alright, he’ll be in bed for a few days, you’ll need to help him use the restroom and clean himself.” She smiled before getting to her feet. “I have a class in an hour.” She pulled out a tiny book scribbling down something before tearing out the paper and giving it to Leo. “Our phones, call for anything.”

“Thank you.” Leo took it and read over it. “Ummm excuse me but can I get my phone?”

Kenny mentally slapped himself in the head, opening up his dresser again and tossing Leo’s phone onto his stomach. “I’ll be back at 12.” Slipping on the old scrappy orange coat, grabbing his hammer and lunch. “Bye Karen, love you.”

“Love you too big brother!” She called out as she started to pack her own lunch for the day.

* * *

 

Karen left an hour ago, and everything hurt, it ached even as he breathed, his lungs stung, his toes felt numb and his bones felt like they were used by a drummer. He frowned, grabbing his phone, calling his grandma, it was always a good minute before she picks up.

“Hello?” A sweet old voice asked he couldn’t help but smile.

“Hi, grandma, sorry I stayed out late last night and I slept over a friend’s house, they’re moving so for a few days I’ll be stuck here helping them out for a while.”

“Oh my little Butters, that’s so sweet of you, I was so worried about you I stayed up late and fell asleep in my chair.”

“I’m sorry grandma,” He blushed as his childhood nickname. “Don’t worry I’ll be back soon!”

“Alright dear, don’t forget to de-stress from work and all, I know your boss is hard on you.”

His stomach rolled. “Don’t worry grandma, you get some rest, love you!”

“Love you too deary.”

He hung up, calling his work, letting them know he’ll be out for at least 2 days, besides he had more than enough vacation time. Lucky Mr.Cartmen’s assistant picked up and took care of it, he didn’t want to deal with his boss yelling over the phone. Leo relaxed for a few minutes before attempting to stand, hissing as his body ached, gritting his teeth and finally standing tall. “Damn,” he mumbled hunching forward his lower back stinging. Yet he pushed forward towards the bathroom. “I gotta text General Disarray.”

* * *

 

Hey.” Kenny stepped in, seeing Karen and Leo laughing each drinking a hot cup of cocoa, he smiled slipping off his coat and hanging it up. “Having a party?”

Karen grinned, handing him a mug. “Yeah, just talking, Leo’s grandma calls him ‘Butters’.” He broke down laughing, clawing at her sides. “BUTTERS!”

Leo blushed and set his mug down and bashfully turned away from him.

It was sweet and creamy, Karen always made a mean hot cocoa. “Butters? How on Earth did you get that nickname?”

Leo buried his face in his hands. “I was a kid and my parents pushed me into a lot of things, one was dancing and I really did enjoy it, and my grandma would ask me to show her how to dance. We danced to ‘Build me up Buttercup’, and…” He laughed. “It’s honestly one of my favorite songs. So yeah my grandma calls me Butters.”

Kenny laughed. “So ‘Butters’,” He sat down on the foot of the bed. “Tell us about yourself Buttercup?”

Leo sighed, sipping his cocoa. “I work at a South Park Electric, I’m one of the main accountants, I live with my grandma here, and… that’s it.” He shrugged.

“What about your folks?” Karen leaned back in the chair, crossing her legs, exhaustion clear in her face, a long shift at the Waffle House.

The light blonde shifted a little frowning. “They were… crossed, I got grounded a lot, and I guess I deserved it. But they… they pushed me a lot, dancing, stalking my dad, in school, everything. I never understood why I couldn’t just be happy with myself, or why they couldn’t either.” He smiled sadly looking up at Kenny and Karen. “Golly you folks are awfully easy to talk to.”

“I’m sorry to hear that kid.” Kenny shot back. “We didn’t grow up too good either.”

“We were poor, our oldest brother is in jail, and our parents…”

“Are gone.” He finished seeing how his sister’s fingers shivered. “They fought a lot, we didn’t have much money, once she graduated high school and found a college we moved.” He shrugged it off refusing to show any flaw in him.

The room grew quiet as they all waited for someone to say something, something warm and fuzzy, something fun and bright. 

“How did you find me?” Leo mumbled, slowly pulling his legs up to his chest and drinking from his mug.

Kenny felt his sister’s eyes on him, he sighed. “I found out on my morning jog, you were on a rooftop bleeding, I’m sure that if you were left alone you would’ve died from bleeding out.”

“Thank you.”

Kenny set his mug down, laying next to Leo wrapping an arm around the light blonde’s shoulders. “Sis read us a bedtime story.” He pulled up the blankets and kicked off his boots and jeans. 

“Fine,” She huffed. “Two jackasses fell asleep, the end.” She stuck out her tongue. “Night ass-one and ass-two.” She closed the door.

“Night, love you!” Kenny yelled after her, yawning and rolling over to face Leo. Leo blushed, inching away from him. “Nah you’re fine Buttercup, hope ya don’t mind splitting the bed for now?”

“N-no not at all.” He sunk under the covers.

He laughed picturing Leo as this little sweet bunny too skittish for his own good. “You know you’re awfully sweet looking when you’re blushing?” He laughed seeing the blonde hide under the blankets. “Night Buttercup.”

“Goodnight Kenny.”

* * *

 

LEOPOLD STOTCH!”

The whole floor stopped typing, some heads poked out of the cubicles others stayed down. His hands hovered over the keyboard, cracking his knuckles and shaking in his chair as he heard the heavy footsteps of his boss. Leo held his breath as the stomping grew louder and louder, down the isles and finally at his cubicle. “Yes, Mr.Cart-”

“Where the hell was you?” He spat, smelling like fast food and sweat. Towering over Leo and pinning him with pissed eyes.

“I’m so sorry sir, I got into a car accident an-”

“Don’t give me excuses.” He snarled, pointing a finger into Leo’s chest. “Get your shit together and done by 6 tonight or your ass is out of here.” He shoved a box full of forms into Leo’s hands, then promptly twisted and stomped away growling.

Leo hissed setting the papers down, pulling out his phone, canceling his coffee with General Disarray, and letting the Mccormicks know that he’ll be late for his checkup. Grumbling as he started typing in information and working on the massive stack of papers. 

He finally logged off shredded the papers and grabbed his items, saying goodbye to the custodian. Another long night shift, checking the time to find it was 7 P.M., he sent another text to Kenny letting him know he finally left work. “Grandma is going to be up waiting again.” He frowned knowing that staying up late is bad for her health. Dialing her home phone as he walked down the street, waiting for the 8:30 bus. He waited to slump as her answering machine’s beep echoed in his ear. “Hi grandma, sorry I’m going to be late again! Don’t worry about me and go ahead and tuck yourself in. Goodnight love you!”

The ride was quick, quiet as only two junkies rode the bus, he took the very back seat of the bus and leaned his head against the window. The cold glass relaxed him, he hummed to the catchy song over the radio and waited. Time passed, as did the lights outside as a gentle rain pattered against the ceiling. Exhaustion slowly took over, his eyes shutting close as the gentle rocking of the bus lured him to sleep.

It wasn’t until a light shake to the shoulder woke him up, he gasped, then groaned as the ache in his body started to unwind from stress, wounds, and exhaustion. “Huh?”

“Hi pal, damn you look tired.” Kenny was there, kneeling next to him, ruffling his hair. “You can walk right Buttercup?”

He sighed falling back into the seat. “Yeah, give me a moment.” He stretched his legs, from thigh to his toes, enjoying the feeling. Hesitating as he got to his feet. “Let’s go.”

“Come on, Karen’s got ice cream.” Kenny stopped by the bus driver, saying thanks for stopping the bus. Apparently, Leo fell asleep and Kenny was waiting at the bus stop and saw him asleep. Leo thanked the driver and wished him a good night before leaving. Kenny and Leo walked side by side.

Kenny threw his arm around Leo’s shoulders, he didn’t mind, not in the rain, or how comfortable it was. He glanced at the much taller blonde, he had wide shoulders, a strong chin with some hair on it. Kenny reminded Leo of someone, someone he knew. “Thanks, Ken.”

“Ya welcome Buttercup.” He looked down and winked.

His stomach tingled, then started tying itself into a rats nest, it felt like his heart was turning inside out and his face was somehow getting a sunburn from the rain. “Oh, hamburgers.” 

* * *

 

“ICE CREAM!” Karen slammed open the door yelling, scaring Leo and making Kenny laugh.

Kenny pushed past his sister, eyeing the two buckets of ice cream, licking his lips. Digging into the mass of the frozen treat, piling up a bowl for himself and handing the scoop to Leo before washing his hands and crashing on the sofa. Karen and Leo stared at the mountain of ice cream. “What?” Kenny asked shoveling a spoonful into his mouth.

“You’re a Goddamn animal.” Karen groaned, finishing her bowl.

“Can I have some?” Leo asked peering over to the ice cream.

“No, we bought it and are going to eat it like a bunch of assholes, dig in Buttercup.” He joked shoveling another spoon full down.

Karen rolled her eyes helping Leo scoop his bowl, seeing his exhaustion from only one day of work. “I think we’ll have to work on building some of your muscle memory back.” She commented handing him a finished bowl. “Can I check on your back while you eat?”

“Sure.” He smiled, more than thankful for the care that he was gifted. Sitting down next to Kenny and eating as Karen peeled up his shirt and inspected his cuts. “How do they look?”

“Alright, healing really well, some of the bruises are kinda...well bad, but they’re fine, I’m only worried if you get knocked up again like this it’ll only be worse. Leo, you should get some fat or some muscle back here, to help pad your ribs.”

“I’ll work on it thanks.” Karen started to pull up his shirt and tossed it aside, looking at the few others deep cuts she was worried about.

“Watch yourself, sis, that’s my white meat to taint,” Kenny growled, teasing them, noticing a tiny shiver down Leo’s back.

Leo blushed, digging into his ice cream. “You guys are mean.”

“We’re friends, gently bully friends and family.” Karen giggled, handing back his shirt. “You’re good, I would want to check again in a week or so but yeah.”

They joked, eating ice cream, watching some childish show, caring very little for it. Telling stories from their childhoods. Kenny learned more behind Professor Chaos, he was a lonely child, other kids bullied him and his parents weren’t much help either. His boss is a total dick that can make any person's blood pressure rise. Professor Chaos, someone who was tired of being pushed around, for wanted revenge, and Kenny understood that. He watched as Leo left, signing and folding his arms.

“You like him don’t you?” Karen said cleaning up some of the mess.

“What? No!” 

“‘Buttercup’?” She grinned. “Gonna butter up his butter stick?”

He pushed his sister, who laughed and pushed back. “So what?”

“Maybe date instead of fuck?”

* * *

 

Your boss did what?” Karen stopped almost dropping her slurpy as it dripped down her hand, she gasped licking it up.

“Yeah, he did, she quit last night, I hope she presses charges.” Leo frowned, thinking about Emmalee. “Whole week she’s been pulling double shifts and...yeah.” He shrugged.

Kenny slapped his back, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him to the point where his back met Ken’s chest. “You’ve gotta get out of there, with the shit he pulls.” He shook his head. “Not worth it.”

“Yeah, but with the job, I have only a few years and if I don’t mess up I could retire and live life to the fullest.” He gave them a half-hearted smile, only to have it drop as his phone vibrated. “Oh shoot, I gotta take this, I’ll catch up with you guys, Hot Topic, right?”

Karen nodded going on ahead, Kenny hesitated before waving and following his sister. Leo waited before pulling his phone out and answering the call, instantly his friendly demeanor and smile vanished. “General Disarray?”

“Sorry Chaos, I know you don’t want to call me but the info that I just found is really sensitive.”

“What do you mean?” He lowered his voice, cupping the phone and glancing around before ducking into another shop, instantly looking at shorts that wouldn’t look good on him.

“Get this, Coon is losing his shit.”

“What?” He squeaked out, a few customers glanced at him, instantly he sheepishly smiled and backed out of the store. “What do you mean?”

“It’s all over the web, the dark web even has videos, but the Coon...he’s running down other criminals and beating them to get info on you. He has a few videos of it, and the last criminal he took down is now in a coma that doctors say he might not wake up out of it.”

It felt like someone poured a glass of ice cold water down his back just then, goose bumps ran up his arms and he gasped, cupping his mouth. “Is...is he going after the regulars?”

“Yeah, a few hookers have been found almost bleeding to death because of him. I think that chip you stole might belong to him.”

Leo snorted, trying to fight back laughter. “My boss Eric Cartman is the Coon? I’m sorry I’m calling it, he’s WAY too fat to even jog, I’m sure the only way he’ll move faster than grass growing is if there’s free food or if I really got on his last nerve.”

“Alright, I’ll update you with screenshots on anything, either way, be safe Coon’s hunting.”

“How's the progress on that...item.”

“Good, really good, it stores energy, and lets it build up, and if we could harness that and somehow let it...out, like a bullet. We just need something that can well trigger it?”

“Do you have calculations?”

“I’ll polish them up.”

“5 tonight.”

“All night?”

“Perfect.”

“I’ll start the coffee pot.”

Leo slipped his phone back into his pocket, Disarray was a great friend, and a brilliant technician, he just hoped that he could get into a good school. He waited for a moment, just breathing, watching a wild bunny chew on some grass. “Get what you want.” He mumbled to himself, trying to build up what little confidence he had.

“BUTTERCUP!”

He squeaked jumping up as Kenny’s head stuck out of a door, the dirty blonde grinned ear from ear waving him over.

“What?” He rushed over, looking up to find it was Spencers.

“This mall doesn’t have a Hot Topic, they have something better!” He lifted up a massive dildo, it was gross, wiggling and massive bulging veins circled around it. “DICK!”

Karen was wheezing as she stepped out, clutching he slurpy and her brother’s arm. “Kenny I’m going to die!”

“I have a massive penis and I’m not afraid to use it, come here Buttercup!” Kenny growled running towards him.

Leo laughed running away. “Did you buy that?!”

“YES!” Kenny chased, laughing like an escaped prisoner.

“WHY?” He fake cried, trying to hold back laughter and keep out of Kenny’s reach.

“For this joke!”

Leo skidded right, tripping and falling, scraping his elbow. Kenny dropped his dick rushing over to Leo, helping him up. “I’m fine, I’m fine.” He mumbled out, only to feel Kenny lift him to his feet, leaning him against the wall. “You’re strong.”

Kenny leaned in. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” It felt like he could cook an egg on his face, that lava was boiling in his stomach. “I’m fine.”

“Good.” Kenny turned away, looking a little redder around the eyes. 

“I’m not picking that up.” Karen kicked the jello-like penis towards her brother. “And it looks like we’re getting kicked out of the outlet mall...again.”

Kenny broke into laughter. “Wanna break into a run?” He left the tiny world that Leo was in, picking up his dick as two mall security cops started into a jog towards them.

“Yeah, I’ll chuck my icy at them, you down Butters?”

“You guys are crazy, Kenny you lead.” Shaking his head and patting the dirt off of himself. “Let’s do it.”

The dirty blonde laughed, turning and bolting, his sister following and Leo trailing behind. The cops yelled breaking into a run as Karen turned around chucking the icy at the faster one, she snorted as he was splattered with blue ice. They ran across the street, almost getting hit by a car, then under the train tracks, and down to a Walmart, they stopped under a massive tree gasping for air.

“You guys are fucking crazy.” Leo panted out, his hands on his knees.

“Yeah we know, but you know what the best part about this is?”

“What?” Karen and Leo both looked up at Kenny trying to catch their breath.

Kenny lifted up his dildo. “This is glow in the dark limited edition anal destroyer, and it vibrates.” He cocked an eyebrow.

The three broke into laughter. 

* * *

They stopped at the street corner, the sun setting, painting the city in oranges and purples. Still laughing at the fake cock in Kenny’s hand as they all sat down.

“So like, okay Batman is well loved, but why?” Leo asked.

“He’s justice and edgy.”

“Exactly, Karen, that’s all he is, yeah his parents died, but most orphans don’t throw on a furry suit and start assaulting criminals.” Leo threw his hands up. “So what?”

Karen paused for a moment. “That’s a good point, but there's more to him, he wants to help people. He doesn’t want to hurt the bad guys.”

“Then why doesn’t he show that side more? Like the Flash, all he had to do was simply talk to the guy and everything turned out for the best. Batman can do that, understand why people act the way they do, and then help them, all he has to do is talk, not fight.”

“That’s...that makes sense.” Kenny sat up, his dick standing between his legs. 

Leo sighed and stared up at the sky. “What time is it?”

“About 7.”

“Oh hamburgers!” Leo jumped up. “I’m late, sorry I gotta go guys. Thanks for hanging out!” He turned and bolted down the street.

Kenny hummed stroking his cock as he stared after Leo.

“Oh my…” Karen grinned.

Kenny rolled his eyes. “What?”

“You really do like him, if you wanted him you would’ve taken him by now.”

“It’s not going to happen.”

Karen pouted. “Why?”

“He’s Choas, Karen, Coon almost killed him, and clearly he’s hiding something, I’m not sure what, but he’s dangerous Karen. He controls lighting.” 

Karen frowned shaking her head. “He’s too sweet.”

“I know.” He watched the figure jog away, seeing the sweet facade slip away, the dark green cape flowing along with the haunting laughter.

* * *

“So sorry I’m late!” The garage was a mess, as always, then again Disarray lived in a crowded home. About 3 grandparents and his own parents all lived in the same house, they were all crammed in this tiny house. Disarray was already working himself to the bone to go to college. Leo stumbled in, seeing Disarray already under the turbine, already stained with oil and grease. 

The redhead pushed the crawler out, snapping his fingers and pointing to a coffee mug. Leo grabbed it handing it to him, he slurped it down. “So what were you up to do? Getting Laid? A date? Something?”

“I was out with some friends, they patched me up after that...attack.” He shivered to turn away.

“Okay, I’ll order us a pizza or two, sit down stay awhile.” He shrugged, tossing a journal over it Leo. “Let me know what you think Chaos.”

Leo signed, falling back on top of a riding mower that hasn’t moved in 20 years, opening the book and started to double check his friend’s work. Disarray ordered two pizzas and gave Leo a mug of coffee. “Disarray this is brilliant.” He stood up, a slice of pizza in his hand. “What you’re saying is that this...turbine, can gather energy, pressurize it and fire it?”

“Yes, like a cannon, we just need to find a battery or a storage container and a way to let it loose. I’ve looked into some materials, but nothing to fire it.” He gulped down cold coffee, scrubbing the grease off of his hands on his pants. “That’s where you come in, what kinda weapon would you use?”

Leo tapped his finger against his lips. “It’s too risky to have it in a gun, far too much pressure I’m sure if we pressurized it to that point it would be like a tiny atom bomb… I picked this due to my understanding of electricity, thus my gloves and abilities… how much power do you think I weld with this?”

“Honestly, before you had enough to cook someone, or just fry them, and now… let’s say you have the Hoover Dam in your pocket.” He laughed raising his mug. “It just needs to gather energy, and amplifies it to a certain point.”

“Holy shit.” He grinned, thinking of what this could do to that damn furry, a vile grin spread across his lips. “Oh, this… this is going to be good.”

  
  


“Hi, Karen.”

“Butters!” She flung the door open, hugging him. “A surprise visit? What’s the occasion?”

He smiled. “I really wanted to thank you two for helping me out, so I got this little gift basket.” He handed it to her.

“Oh, you didn’t have to, come in, come in.” She waved him in. “I made tea, want some?”

“I would love some.” He followed her in. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Oh goodness, you’re not.” She handed him a hot mug. “You really didn’t have to, I see a few items I know Kenny’s going to devour like a savage beast.” She rolled her eyes.

“Hey, where is Kenny?”

“With an old friend, Stan, nice guy, I think he’s going to be a dad soon.”

“Really? At our age?”

She nodded. “Trust me his wife and he are really sweet, a great couple, sure a few rough patches.” She shrugged.

Leo snapped his fingers. “That’s right! I left a few items here, can I go ahead and grab them?”

She waved him on.

Leo stepped into Kenny’s room, seeing it slightly messy, Kenny never decorated, only had a few items that he needed, dresser and a bed. Leo sighed, he really didn’t want to dig through Kenny’s belongings, he respected privacy and he also didn’t want to find where Kenny hid that dildo. Leo went right to the dresser, opening the top drawer finding the jello-like dick. “Oh come on.” He hissed through his teeth shutting the drawer before moving onto the next. Socks, boxers, shirts, and pants. He reached the very bottom and yet didn’t find the gauntlets, boots or even his own socks. The only other drawer he didn’t completely search through was the very top, with the dildo. Leo frowned eyeing the top drawer, slowly opening the drawer, trying to avoid the massive penis. He pushed it out of the way, seeing a glimmer of silver, grinning as he tugged out a gauntlet. Slipping it into his bag, along with his heavy clothing and thick cape. Yet his boots were missing, turning towards the closet. The boots laid there under an old coat, he shoved them in his bag. “Good, I have everything.”

“Butters?” Karen stood in the doorway, frowning and crossing her arms. “I knew you were going to take that tacky outfit.”

He jumped dropping the last boot. “Jesus.” Meeting Karen’s unpleasant look. “What? It’s not tacky.” Leo forced laughed at his poor joke.

“Stop, okay just stop. I knew who you were, Kenny knows who you are, and...and you’re going back out there to get hurt again.” She sighed rubbing her forehead. “Why? Why do you do this to yourself?”

The breath of air hurt, stinging the insides of his lungs. “I...I need to.”

Karen’s shoulders fell. “That’s it? You just have to do this?” 

“Karen.”

“Listen, Leo, I know you’ve had a hard life, but you’ve got people who are about you, you’ve got your grandma, Kenny, and me…” She tossed her hands up, her voice cracking.

“I.”

“It’s fine, okay, just...okay.” She stomped out of the room.

Leo frowned, holding his boot before swallowing guilt and shoving it away. Only to gasp as the handle of Kenny’s hammer fell with a faint thump. His stomach turned to pick it up and rolling it around in his hands. A conductor, he needed something to launch the charge off of. “I’m sorry Kenny.”

“So that’s it, you’re going out there again?” Karen snapped, Leo didn’t think he left that much of an impression.

He hung his head. “I’m sorry Karen.”

She hissed. “Be safe, I don’t want to patch you up again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE PLOT THICKENS, WITH KENNY'S NEW DICK!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be way longer but I figured I'd split this in two so next chapter ohhh babies.

He ran, panting as he pushed himself up another building, following a car full of jewelry thieves. His heart racing as he heard the sound of a loud motorcycle, checking to see a tacky looking cycle with raccoon-like. Mysterion pushed himself even harder, only grunting as his foot slammed into an ac unit, stumbling to catch up. Glad to see the van slowed down as a traffic jam blocked the road, they turned down an alleyway. He followed and jumped down, landing roughly on the top of the car. Gripping onto the top racks of the van as they tried to shake him off, hissing as the pain in his shoulder returned. Pulling himself towards the front and knocking on the window. “Let me in!”

The driver only laughed, speeding up and knocking the car into the walls again and again. He heard the rumble of the cycle, clenching his teeth as he slammed his fist down on the windshield, cracking it. They screamed inside the car, he only gritted his teeth breaking the glass and pushing himself into the vehicle. He groaned only seeing a handful of people all pointing guns at his face. He only sheepishly smiled. “Hi.” He slowly stood up, looking at the driver. “Take 4th street.”

“What, why?”

“The Coon is after you, and you don’t want to meet him tonight, take 4th, there’s an old railroad that’s closed off, if we can get you guys hidden down there it’ll sneak you out of the city.”

They all looked at one another, each one asking if they should trust him, only for one of them to speak up. “Why should we listen to you?”

“The last person who stole and Coon caught was found crippled.” He glared at them.

The man sighed. “So the rumors are true, take 4th. Help him up.”

One of them grabbed his arm, he gasped the painful ache of the old wound only returned. “You okay?”

“Fine, is the Coon on your tail?”

The driver shook his head.

“Good, floor it.” The van shot out of the alleyway, skidding into traffic, cars screeched and honked, they swerved into a lane. Mysterion jumped up, hanging off the driver’s seat. “Left!” They turned left doing 60 MPH into the oncoming traffic. “Okay stay in this lane for a bit, but make it over to the right.” They slowly crossed over, the faint rumble of the Coon cycle hunting them down. “Okay, see that ramp that’s closed off, take it.”

“What?”

“Take it, then at the bottom turn left.”

The van slammed into the signs, down the ramp, and into traffic, Mysterion took the wheel turning it left, the whole car groaned as they turned under the 4th street and into the bridge, he flicked the lights on as they continued under the bridge.

“Stop here.” He jumped out of the van, as the sight of two steel doors appeared, he pulled out a key and unlocked the doors. He pushed them open and waved the car in, locking them once again before running up to the car. “Cut the engine and be dead quiet, I mean it that cycle can hear you guys talking.” The car died, all of them stopped talking, moving and waited. Mysterion held his breath listening to the roar of the Cooncycle, hearing it roar above them, then next to them. It crawled up to the doors, growling before loud footsteps sounded, each one drawing closer and closer to the doors. The loud yank of the chains frightened them, Mysterion held his breath. The footsteps faded away as the cycle roared to life and left. Mysterion still held a finger to his mouth the thieves only waited for him to say it was okay. They waited for at least 20 minutes until Mysterion finally gave in. “Okay, whisper, please.”

“Why are you helping us?”

“I’d rather not have him put anyone here in the hospital or the morgue.” He was surrounded by an old man, a couple, a cripple, and a man who was acting touch but the cold sweat down his forehead gave away his fear. “I’m not going to turn you in, clearly you have your reasons for doing this.” He pointed down the tunnel. “About 10 miles down there’s another door, use it in 30 minutes. Go to Colfax when you hit a pub called ‘The Fainting Goat Pub’ you go in, ask for seven bloody marys. They’ll take you to the back, it’s a black market. Don’t talk to anyone that isn’t at a table, if they wave you over, hand them the jewels. They’ll pay you more than you think.” He turned toward the door. 

“Wait.” The leader pulled a gun out still shaking. “Why do you trust us to not kill you.”

“It’s your first job, you’re sweating like a pig. Don’t let the guys at the pub see that, they’ll tear you apart.”

“It doesn’t take a hero to kill.”

“I know, but you know why I’m a hero?” He turned, staring down the barrel of the pistol, seeing the glint of the bullet. “Because I can't die.” He smiled turning away. “And that the safety is on.”

They were shrimps, nothing more, he thought closing the metal doors behind him and to lock the chain again. Keeping to the shadows and the alleyways, the sound of police sirens echoed through the city. Once again the heavy feeling pressed on his chest, where was Butters?

What was Chaos planning?

What would the Coon do?

 

* * *

 

“Ugh.” He slapped his bag down on a chair. “I hate that man.” He snarled out, drumming his fingers across the back of the office chair. “If I ever work in an office again make sure to have me wear a thick rope so I can hang myself on my 15.”

“That bad?” The ginger looked up from his desk, putting his glasses back on.

“Let me tell you, if I could go back in time I would tell myself to be an undercover reporter to show the world what a shitty person he is.” Leo huffed tossing his hands up.

“Oh no what did he do this time?” General didn’t look up, the smell of the soldering iron wafted into the air. The sound of music and yelling from the house close by didn’t bother the young sidekick.

Leo frowned. “He called me into his office while getting head from one of those poor girls.” His stomach still turned at the image of his boss mid-orgasm. “He held the girl’s head down until he was done.”

General stopped a shiver ran down his back. “That’s disgusting.”

“She was choking at the end of it, and he fired her on the spot.” He folded his arms, sinking down into the chair and kicking off his shoes. “I hate that man.” He turned towards the stack of calculations. “Will the hammer work?”

General laughed. “Trust me this is a perfect weapon, I did have to fix it up a bit, a new handle and some grinding and here.” He stopped reaching under his desk to pull out a case, huffing at how heavy it was. He set it on Leo’s legs. “Pop that bad boy open and let me know.”

The hammer was massive, almost twice its’ size, the head was more square like and even had a point to it. On the side, there were holes meant for the device that was still being soldered and modified. He lifted it out of the case, finding it heavy yet easy to wield. “What is this made out of?” He noticed the strange metals that trailed through the handle and the head.

“Two of the best conductors, my mom’s silver jewelry and let’s say a crap ton of pennies.”

“Wait,” He set the hammer down. “Your mom’s silver?”

He nodded. “Not like she wears it, in fact, I don’t think she even knows about it.”

“They haven’t even noticed you today huh?”

“I don’t think they’ve even noticed that I’ve been driving illegally for two years.” He shook himself taking a sip of coffee. “I’m almost done with the test plate, gotta run some tests, I don’t want this to blow up when we’re done.”

Leo started to glance over the calculations, checking and rechecking each one. “We’ll dump the original in the ocean, I’ve been checking the news, they still have no idea where this is.” He tapped the top of the massive turbine, surprised that they could steal it and keep it hidden so well. Then again stealing from that fat bastard is pretty easy when you know all of his shipping imports and exports.

“I’m also worried about the potential of frying yourself Chaos,” He stopped rolling his head, loosening up his joins. “This isn’t something we can take you to a hospital for if it goes bad.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look at the calculations, you’d be a living generator/battery and if something goes wrong...we’ll there’s no way to bring you back. It’d be as if you were struck by lighting but you look like KFC left you in way too long.”

He glanced over them again, his stomach turning at the idea of cooking himself if something went wrong. Leo sucked in a cold breath of air, hissing between his teeth. “I’m will to take that chance.” He pulled out another piece of paper. “But let’s make some protective gear first… We’ll need rubber for sure.”

 

* * *

 

“I can’t find my hammer.” He grumbled tossing his lunch sack on the table, Karen looked up from her phone a banana still hanging out of her mouth.

“Leo came by not too long ago, think he took it?” She mumbled past the banana.

He frowned and stared at her.

“What?” She tossed up her hands. “I’m just saying, I mean we are his friends and you clearly want that tight ass. But you said he is Professor Chaos.”

“Good...good point.” He grumbled sitting on the sofa. “I mean, maybe we could’ve changed him?”

Karen sighed shaking her head. “You know my friend Adri?”

Kenny’s head shot up. “The one whose boyfriend killed her mom? Yeah?”

“Yeah her… I went every day to her house afterward, I talked with her, went out and got her food and everything. I was there for her, but there were times that she’d still talk about him, saying that she still loved him and such. I gave up Kenny. You can’t fix someone unless they want to be fixed. Leo...Leo’s holding onto something and he won’t let it go.”

He gave in, sinking into the sofa listening to the steady ticking of the clock on the wall. “You’re right Karen.” He rolled onto his side. “I just… he’s not a bad person at all, so why?”

Karen finished her banana, tossing the peel into the trash. “Maybe...he can’t let go of his anger, his hate, so he hides it away, bottles it up and put it into this Chaos character?” She grabbed a pencil and dove back into her college studies.

Kenny laying there thinking of what his sister said, and how Leo had acted, how Chaos acted. It sadly made sense. Leo may be a lost cause, someone Mysterion can’t save Chaos, and Kenny can’t save Leo. He sat there stressing over Leo. “You’re right Karen, I do care about him.”

She ‘tsked shaking her head, opening her mouth to say something only to forget as the power went out. “Damn it.”

Kenny got to his feet digging through the junk drawer for a candle and a lighter, tossing them to Karen before he started to dig for a flashlight. He only paused to look outside, noticing that the power went out for miles. “Damn, someone really fucked up.”

* * *

 

"Shit!” Disarray jumped out of his seat, covering the windows with a handful of blankets. “Turn it off, TURN IT OFF!”

Chaos typed in command after command, yet the turbine refused to stop, only growing louder and louder. “I don’t know how!” His hands started to shake with fear. “HELP!” He screamed as the device thrummed louder and louder.

“Get away from it!” Disarray grabbed his shirt and dragged him out of the shed.

Chaos started to run blinding into Disarray’s yard, they both ducked behind an old truck and screamed as the steady hum turned into a deafening howl. They held onto one another as the howling grew louder, dogs and cats barked and hissed at the sound. Chaos sucked in a cold breath of air and accepted that he was going to die.

Then with a bright flash of light, the world seemed to go numb from it all. Slowly the lights in houses turned back on music could be heard, people finally cheering to watch the football game.

Chaos sunk down deflating as the tension left his body. “Okay… we’re okay.”

Disarray nodded, his face was almost white, only for the ginger freckles. “Let’s… let’s call it quits for the night, okay?”

He nodded getting to his feet, exhaustion weighing down his body. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit is going down.

The gloves (gauntlets really) were great, thick welding mits layered with hardware gloves and a layer of rubber. Heavy plates were sewn on, each plate was welded by Disarray, thin lines of copper was added under it all. His boots were heavy too, they ordered military boots, took him two months to break them in, then they added the same plates onto them and rubber. He spent the last few weeks running with them on, swinging a heavy metal baseball bat, practicing. Running and climbing on top of buildings, jumping massive gaps and practicing his landings.

    His cape, helmate, new gloves and boots were all packed into a bag. Chaos pulled his phone out, checking his texts. Disarray sent him a text about 30 minutes ago, the hammer was ready. Ignoring the missed calls and texts from Kenny and Karen. Chaos simply packed up, kissed Grandma goodbye and drove off.

   

    “This is much stronger, nothing like those modified tasers you used before.” Disarray said, starting his van as Chaos stepped in. They met under the old train bridge, left his car in the shadows before speeding off it the old train station. “Think you can handle it?” He asked parking the van, handing a lock cutter to Chaos.

    “I know I can,” He stepped out of the van, with a loud crunch the lock fell and he kicked the gates open.

    Disarray pulled up and into the old station, scarring some birds, shutting his van off and stepping out. He opened the hanging side door, heaving out a case, the turbine sat dormant in his car. “I mean, you know what to do with those, but with this… Chaos you could die.” He reluctantly handed Chaos the heavy case.

    He took it, gasping at the weight. “This has the chip?”

    “Yes.” His friend looked down at his feet.

    “Disarray.” He set the case down, grabbing his friend’s shoulder. “I can’t thank you enough, you’re a good sidekick and even a better friend. I want you to graduate, and follow your dream.” He smiled.

Disarray brushed off his hand, instead reaching out with his own. “Dougie O’Connell.”

Chaos took it. “Leopold Butterscotch, it’s nice to meet you Dougie.”

“Nice knowing you Leopold.” He stepped back, sitting in his van. “I’m ready to call 911 if you fry yourself and somehow still breathing.”

Chaos took out his bag, slipped on his shoes, gloves, cape and helmate. The hammer was massive, it almost looked like something out of a fantasy world. It was heavy, externally heavy, as if someone duct taped a 50 pound bag of dog food to a stick. “Hamburgers!” He gasped lifting it high before resting it on his shoulders.

Disarray weakly smiled. “There’s two ways to activate it, one is simply spinning it fast, and I mean fast to build up the charge then hit something and it’ll release the charge. The second is well a button right next to the grip.”

“Interesting, so do I need to wait for a storm or something?”

“Nope, it’s meant to pull energy from anywhere, well besides living people.”

“Huh.” Leo said just as his phone buzzed.

“Oh, is that?”

He muted it and tossed it in his bag. “It’s no one.”

Disarray shook his head, frowning. “Just… If you almost die, or if everything in your life turns out exactly how you want it. You better pick up that phone.”

“I will.” He smiled, lifting the hammer above his head. “Wish me luck.”

“You’re going to die.”

He spun, holding it above his head, feeling the faint tickles of power running up his body, spinning faster and faster before lifting it high over his head and slamming it down into the concrete. He was flung back as a column of light slammed down onto his hammer, burning through the roof and into the basement below.

“Holy shit!” Disarray ran towards him, helping Chaos back on his feet.

He looked up seeing the massive hole he burned into the station, the fire crackled and spread. “Holy shit.” He croaked, his body ached.

“Chaos?”

“Yeah?”

“I you caused a blackout.” They looked outside unable to see past the inky darkness.

“Shit.”

* * *

 

“Dammit!” He yelled throwing his phone. “He’s doing this on purpose.”

Karen only sat on the sofa, eating some popcorn and reading through her textbook. “He’s Professor Chaos, maybe he’s out, I don’t know, robbing a bank and twirling his mustache?”

Kenny slumped down on the sofa, rubbing away the headache. “I know but I thought-”

“He would make progress?” Karen yawned and took a few notes on her textbook. “You opened our house, hung out with him, there’s only so much you can do.” She shrugged. “Who knows, maybe in a year or two you’ll bump into him and Leo might just drop the whole act and his pants.”

He groaned rubbing his closed eyes. “I… Just want him to do better.”

Karen nodded shoveling a handful of popcorn into her mouth, majestic. “That’s good but you can’t force him and honestly people need to learn the hard way.” She said as she chewed on the pop corn.

Kenny nodded fishing out the remote from between the cushions, earning a tiny glare from his sister as she pointed to her studies. “I’m just going to check the news.”

The tv turned on with this small _thud_ , the screen took awhile to warm up but the volume was already blaring through the tiny apartment.  “-oon, that’s the name of this serial mugger and vigilante. For several years he’s been terrorizing our streets, however last night was truly horrific.”

“Yes last night The Coon ran over two preschoolers, we can not show the footage it’s too graphic for public television. One has been in the ICU all night while the other sadly didn’t survive. My heart goes out to those families affected by this tragedy, respectfully we asked to talk to the families but where simply turned away… Tammy how do you feel about this?”

Tammy sighed and rubbed her head. “Tom you know that these ‘heros’ don’t have a right to be here, but this? I miss the days of the hero bake sale or that Human Kite guy would go and rescue cats out of trees or talk to kids on the playground.”

Kenny turned off the tv setting the phone down. “He ran over two kids?”

Karen nodded slowly. “How are you feeling?”

“I miss Kyle.”

Suddenly the lights flickered and the whole apartment went dark. Kenny sighed, when they were growing up their power would often fail or be cut, he couldn’t count how many times he’s pulled out the lanterns and candles. Already setting the lantern on the coffee table and lighting it while handing Karen the candles, he pulled out his old lighter and tossed it to her.

“The whole city is out.” She said looking out the window.

“This is the second time this month.” He stared outside the window, his heart sinking into his stomach. “How long do you think it will be down?”

She shrugged. “Hey, didn’t Chaos use electricity?”

“Yeah, but nothing this big, just tasers.” He frowned stepping closer to the window. “There’s a fire by the old train tracks.”

Karen stood next to him. “It’s him isn’t it?”

“Even it it’s not I’m not letting Coon take another life.”

* * *

 

Chaos stared at the flames eating away at the roof, the cracking and popping of metal and wood. A massive heating unit fell, slamming into the ground only a few feet away. “Disarray you better get out of here.”

“And leave you here?” He snapped shutting the side door to his van. “No way in hel-”

The all too familiar roar of a certain motorcycle, his stomach dropped, Disarray was frozen in fear. “Go, now.” Chaos snapped shoving Disarray towards the driver side.

Disarray stopped, holding onto the door frame. “No, Leo, he’ll kill you.”

Chaos shoved him into the car, slamming the door shut. “Drive!” He stood back when the van started, Disarray shot him this concerned look before making a U-turn and leaving the burning building. He watched as the van sped off.

He stood there for a few seconds watching as the red taillights, a small smile spread across his face. “Thank you Disarray.” He stood over the hammer the handle standing out of the ground, a choice. Stay and die, or run and live.

He took the handle heaving the hammer out of the ground, feeling the power as it danced across his new armor. The howl of the motorcycle shook him to his core.

Stay and die.

The roar grew louder and louder, like a savage beast stalking him, it wasn’t long to hear it outside the door. He saw the lights, the eyes of the cooncycle, his grip tightened on the hammer’s handle as the cycle pulled up. Heart racing as cold sweat dripped down his back.

Coon snarled at him stepping lazily off his bike. “I was wondering when I would find you again Professor Chaos.” He grinned. “Not like it’s hard.”

He didn’t respond to the taunt, holding his ground as the Coon stalked closer and closer. Chaos’ grip tightened, the flames raining down around them, stinging his eyes. Chaos rushed forward, swinging his hammer, Coon ducked surprised at the attack. He swung again, smashing into some old crates that burst into flames.

Coon hissed rushing away. “What the hell is that thing?”

Chaos only yanked the hammer out of the fire, spinning around to face Coon.

Coon drew his claws out, glaring at him before launching himself at Chaos. He swung again, slamming the hammer into Coon, Coon gasped as he was flung back. Hissing as he pushed himself up again. “Tampon.”

Chaos screamed running towards Coon, hammer raised slamming it down into the concrete, Coon rolled over, kicking out Chaos’ knees. Chaos grunted just as Coon slammed into him, separating him from the hammer. He skidded across the floor, getting to his feet just as Coon lumbered towards him. Chaos tripped him, slamming Coon’s head into the ground and rushing towards the hammer. Coon clawed at his cape yanking him like a rag doll, Chaos was thrown into the wall. Pain spread through his body, he clutched his sides gasping as he crumbled to the ground. “Dammit.”

Coon laughed kicking him in his ribs. “What a waste, who knew some dumb ass like you could make something like that?”

Chaos spat out blood. “Fuck you.”

Coon kicked him again, Chaos clutched his boot, twisting it like a chicken bone. Coon screamed and fell to the ground. Chaos roared jumping on top of Coon, nailing a punch on Coon’s jaw. Then another, and another, blood welling up on his face, Chaos felt claws dig into his throat. Coon rolled over, slamming his whole body into the cold ground and pinning him there.

**CLANG!**

The roof was starting to cave in, massive support beams fell down around them, the fire licked the walls of the building, trapping them.

Chaos yelled landing a right hook on Coon’s, kicking at the fat belling and pushing himself from under him. He spat out another mouthful of blood and ran towards the hammer.

“Chaos!” A flash of black and purple rushed by, Mysterion tacked Coon to the ground. “Run!”

**CLANG!**

Another beam flaming plummeted down, separating him from the hammer, he unclasped his cape dashing towards the beam. Leaping over the flames and tumbling to the ground crying out as his side banged into the ground. “Fuck.” He crawled to the hammer clutching his side.

He heard the brutal fight behind him, this is second time that Mysterion had saved him. Chaos pulled himself to his feet, limping over to the hammer. He screamed pulling it up out of the ground.

Mysterion was flung, tumbling down to the ground, his right arm bent in a U shape, blood dripping down his chin. Stumbling to his feet as Coon charged towards him. Chaos screamed hurling his hammer down into the ground, sending massive electric bolts running along the floor. Coon rolled back while Mysterion covered his eyes with his good arm.

Chaos painted seeing the steel beam was melted in two, energy ran through his frame. Raising his hammer high above him. “I’ll drag you to hell myself Coon!” He howled dashing forward pain ran up his leg, slamming the hammer once again into the ground, lighting struck blinding them. His ears rang as he blinked the blinding light away. Snarling as Coon stood there dumbfounded. He swung again slamming his hammer into Coon’s massive stomach. Coon grunted skidding across the floor, glaring at him with a new rage.

Another steal beam came crashing down, breaking through the floor and into the basement below them. Throwing flames up, and preventing him from attacking Coon.

“Chaos!” Mysterion ran towards him.

He swung his hammer again, sending a bolt of lighting at the masked figure, it struck Mysterion, burning through his clothes. “Mysterion!” He limped over, already cursing himself out.

Mysterion hissed rushing forward. “We gotta get out, now!”

Chaos grabbed Mysertion’s arm wrapping it around his shoulder, his other hand held his hammer. The old train station was burning to the around, massive 15 foot flames roared above them, beams came crashing down as the floor started to crumble under the heat and new weight.

“Looks a lot like hell, huh?” Mysterion grunted out, limping with Chaos.

“Like you would know.” He wheezed, pulling Mysertion closer.

Mysterion laughed. “Damn fine weapon, never seen the Coon almost shit himself.”

He stared down at it, looking at the weapon and respect he mastered, new confidence swelled in his chest. “Thanks for saving me.”

Another flaming beam fell, smoke flooded his vision as they pushed forward. Clumps of the roof started to fall, smaller beams and old tiles. The fire climbed the walls like a hungry animal stalking its’ prey, ready to snap them in it’s hellish jaws.

“Leo.” Mysertion gasped out, pushing him forward as the flames burned through the rest of the support beams, the world came crashing down as he stumbled out of the train station. Chaos spun around seeing Mysterion under a massive of burning rubble. He knelt down already clawing at the cement and steel, his hands were swatted away. “Stop it!” Mysterion spat out more blood, he wheezed. “Just stop Leo.”

“How do you know my name?” He shivered cupping the familiar face in his hands, tears starting to well at the edges of his vision.

Mysterion smiled. “Take my mask off.” It slipped off with ease, Kenny’s bruised and bleeding face grinned back up at him.

“Kenny?” Leo mumbled out. “KENNY!” He screamed digging his fingers into the hot rubble once again.

“It’s pointless, Leo tell my sister, okay?” He took Leo’s hand in his own. “And please, stop.” His head slowly fell to the ground, blood started to creep out of the rubble.

* * *

 

The banging on the door scared her, Karen jumped up spilling her soda all over the blankets. She rushed over to the door swinging it open. Leo stood there, his clothes were torn, blood caked his suit, Karen reached forward yanking him in and locking the door. His hammer fell to the ground as he collapsed onto the sofa. Karen rushed back to the kitchen grabbing her first-aid kit, ripping off his cape and cutting his shirt off. “Roll over.” He nodded rolling onto his back, Karen easily took off all of his clothing, even his boxers. Washing out the blood wounds before wrapping them. Feeling the bruised areas. “Nothing broken, bruised bones.” She hissed looking at the biggest wounds. “You’ll need some stitches.” Karen leaned over cleaning his face with damp cloth.

Leo grabbed her wrist. “Karen, Kenny he-” His eyes welled up. “He’s-”

“Dead?” She frowned swatting away his hand as she went to clean up his face. “That bastard.” She snapped, frowning. Karen admitted that she never liked Kenny’s hobby. How many times she would see his lifeless body and know that in a few days he would show up with a new car and cook her ‘I’m sorry pancakes’. She sighed. “Don’t worry about it now.”

Leo stared at her, confused. “Your brother is dead.”

“I know,” She frowned. “This is his 5th time this year.”

“What are you talking about?”

Karen sat back. “Kenny has died a lot, in fact he’s been ‘dead’ since he was 10, go to our home town and you’ll find his grave.”

Leo weakly nodded his head, eyes dropping as he fainted.

“Damn it Kenny.”

* * *

 

A week passed, a long painful week, most of his cuts on his face healed up and he finally returned to work. The day passed as it usually would, take the bus in, clock in, chat at the water filter and sit down. Leo typed madly, his fingers flying over the keys. He took a 5 minute break blowing his nose and taking a long sip of coffee.

There was a tiny knock at his cubicle, Jimmy peered over the grey walls. “H-hey L-L-Leo.”

Leo smiled turning in his chair to face Jimmy. “Hey Jim, what’s up?”

Jimmy’s generally cheerful face fell. “C-Cartman wants t-those r-r-reports t-t-tonight.”

His stomach grew cold, nodding. “Alright I’ll crank them out.”

“You l-l-look like s-s-shit, s-send them to m-m-me and I’ll read over them.” He smiled.

“Thank you Jim.” He smiled back turning to the binders before cracking his fingers. “Let’s get the 2 week report finished first.” Once again his fingers flew over the keys, typing calculating and organizing the data for the past two weeks. He checked it once, sent it over to Jimmy before diving into the the next report.

Leo barely heard the group of guys going to Hooters, not even looking up as one of them offered him to join them. Leo brushed them off typing madly.

“H-hey Leo I checked t-t-the report.” Jimmy said.

“Thank you I’ll send it to the printer.” Leo sent it over, getting to his feet before sending the next report to Jimmy. “The other I just sent.”

“H-heads up, C-C-Cartman i-is pi-...pis….pi...p-p-p-p-p-p-....really angry.”

“Thank you Jimmy” He grabbed a free binder and waited by the printer, pleased with the two-week report he clamped it in. “With me luck.” He said stepping towards Cartman’s office. The floor around them grew quiet, the group of guys that went to Hooters. Leo held his head up high walking up to the office. He knocked once.

“Come back later!” Cartman yelled.

Leo’s anxiety turned cold, confidence ran through his veins, opening the door. The office behind him gasped, Cartman who clearly was getting his fat cock sucked jumped up, the poor girl under his glass desk slammed her head into it.

“What the hell is your problem!” Cartman snapped, kicking the poor receptionist back.

Leo stepped forward dropping the report on his desk. “Your report sir.”

“Leo you’re on your last leg here!” He got to his feet. “Anything to say to?”

“Might want to put away your...deformed thumb away before the whole office sees it, dip shit.” He snapped back.

Cartman’s face grew a dark red as he quickly yanked his pants up. “You’re out of line Leo.”

He smiled. “I know,” He turned towards the scared receptionist. “You know the last girl who didn’t suck his little piggy got a really bad black eye, I suggest you go ahead and run to HR, get a nice little lawsuit started.”

She got to her feet and bolted out of the room.

“That’s it Leo you are-!”

“Shut you fat fucking mouth, I quit.” He firmly said grabbing the binder and smashing it down on the glass desk, shattering it.

“That’s coming out of your paycheck!”

“No, that was our bonuses, now if you excuse me I’ll share your ‘taxes’ with everyone here.” He winked turning and leaving the office. The whole level was staring at him, many had gaping mouths, others were purely in shock while Jimmy was grinning ear to ear. “Hey Jimmy, want my chair?”

 

“You quit?” Grandma looked up, seeing the box on the table.

“Yep, I’m thinking about-”

“Leaving?” She finished his sentence.

His heart sank. “Y-yeah Grandma, I’m sorry but I-”

She smiled. “I know.” She slowly got to her feet, stepping into her room and coming back with her candy jar. She fished through to the bottom of it, pulling out a key chain with a old rabbit foot attached. “Here.” She tossed it.

“What is this?” He asked looking at the various keys.

Her grin only grew as she pulled out her purse, finding an old photo. “It’s our honeymoon car.” Grandpa and Grandma sat next to a yellow 1970’s Volkswagen station wagon. “Her name is Shiloh. She’s old but one hell of a fighter,” Grandma pulled out a notepad writing down information before handing it to him. “Everything you need to know about her, and what all those keys go to.” She smiled pulling Leo into a hug. “I wish I could undo what they did to you.” She pulled back kissing his cheek. “You be safe you hear.” Her eyes watered. “I’ve never been more proud of you, my little Butters.”

Butters smiled kissing his Grandma back and hugging her again. “I love you so much!”

“I love you more.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Butter's Grandma so much. Leave a comment I crave comments. FEED ME!  
> I got a shit tumblr y'all, hit my ass up!  
> https://dildo-swaggins-t-baggins.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again, was it good? Would you like to read more? Please comment on what you think.
> 
> A little background on this au:  
> They don't know who they are in real life, only Stan, and Kenny knows who they are.  
> Coon is a monster of a hero.  
> Butters does have a glass eye.  
> Karen is in college and is a great younger sister.  
> If you have any other questions please let me know!


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